Montgomery County Mom Challenges School’s Gender Policy After Son’s Graduation ‘Outing’

Betsy Mendelsohn is the mother of a newly minted graduate from Einstein High School, situated in Germantown, Montgomery County. She expressed her disappointment during the graduation ceremony when her child’s legal name was published instead of their chosen name.

Addressing the Montgomery County Board of Education members present at the ceremony, Mendelsohn remarked, “you saw my kid and every trans kid get outed in the commencement program.”

She conveyed that this incident was not just a minor oversight but something that deeply affected her child’s experience, stating, “This publication hurt my child, and this is their last memory of MCPS.” The audience reacted with sympathetic murmurs.

Her child, who has been known exclusively by their preferred name for five years and has used it in all public school documents, was unexpectedly outed with a very different name. Mendelsohn shared these sentiments with WTOP, reflecting on the emotional impact of the situation.

According to Montgomery County Public Schools guidelines, staff members are trained to implement practices that prevent unintentionally disclosing a student’s legal name or gender, particularly when this differs from the information provided in the school system’s gender identity intake form.

Mendelsohn noted that her child had filled out Form 560-80 as an eighth grader, indicating a clear preference and recognition of their chosen identity.

During her testimony at the board meeting, she commented, “The school’s error in publishing my student’s birth name for their classmates, families, school staff, and the public to see violates the spirit, certainly, of MCPS policy.”

In her address to the board, Mendelsohn recounted that this incident was not isolated; her child had experienced being “outed” before in school settings.

“Teachers typically have called the legal name of each student in that room in order to individually distribute exam tickets or tests, so before each PSAT, SAT, IB, AB, AP, MCAP—whatever they’re outed,” she explained.

“My kid has turned somersaults to try to prevent this from happening,” she told the board, sharing that her child would intentionally arrive early to exam rooms to collect their test ticket, allowing them to avoid having their legal name announced. Alternatively, they would wait until all the other students had collected their tickets, then approach and simply say, “that one’s mine.”

Motivated by her experience, Mendelsohn desires to ensure that future students do not face similar challenges.

Board members, including president Grace Rivera-Oven, vice president Brenda Wolff, Laura Stewart, and Rita Montoya, expressed their sympathy and concern over the incident.

“That is extremely alarming and concerning, and I apologize, Ms. Mendelsohn,” Montoya stated. “It is disturbing, especially this being Pride Month. We need to uphold our values, which includes examining our processes regarding the use of preferred names,” Stewart added.

In her conversation with WTOP, Mendelsohn emphasized that, overall, her child had a positive experience in the school system. “They have completely fond memories of Einstein High School, filled with lovely friends and many wonderful teachers,” she said. However, she acknowledged the complexities of navigating their educational journey.